How Yoga calmed my Hot-Head!

Yogi’s blow their fuse “only” if they choose to

…and in my view that is one of the most difficult things to do!

When I first started practicing yoga, my main goal was to not get angry! I always assumed that Yogis don’t get angry! However over the years I realised that that’s not true and should not be the case either.

Some people understand you through your eyes itself, some need a talk, and some need a stern talk. It depends on the situation and person. A Yogi however chooses his response in each situation and is not a victim to the situation. A Yogi is fully aware of his emotions and responds with complete awareness and thus never regrets his actions.

With the number of yoga practitioners increasing in the last 10 years and with seeing beautiful pictures of yoga postures all over, we tend to assume that striking a difficult pose is yoga! Yes, it is but just a small part of it.

Yoga is about building the flexibility and strength in your body through the various asanas, tuning your mind through pranayama and meditation -> and this automatically without any conscious effort from your side will improve your lifestyle, food habits, self-confidence, self-discipline, temperament, happiness quotient and thus improves your overall personality. Stress then becomes a forgotten word as every situation in life seems simple and great.

You start to treat your body with love and don’t feed unnecessary thoughts in your mind and that is all the body needs to stay Healthy, Fit and Happy!

When do you get angry

You get angry most often because Things are NOT the way YOU want it to be.

• When the person involved is your close family, the anger is the worst

• When the person is a good friend, you control your emotion and get frustrated later

• When the person is someone who you don’t care too much about, you are irritated but most probably ignore and carry on with life.

Isn’t the reaction shown to a stranger actually the best way to handle the situation as anyway our view is not always the Best view?!

Anger not only strains beautiful relationships but also ruins your peace of mind. Of course, an ‘ignore and proceed’ attitude doesn’t work with family as you truly care to induce a change for the long run, but a heated argument anyway never brings a change. So what are we really doing – Just trying to satisfy our own EGO??!

How does Yoga help in Anger management

Stage 1

The first stage for me was definitely even realising what I just mentioned above. For several years, I just assumed that the people around me don’t care for me in some situations and hence had no regrets arguing. I just thought that- that was my way of handling such situations. But over the years, I began to realise that none of those arguments were worth it, as life would have been just the same for me or the other person without those arguments as well. By arguing I have achieved NOTHING. So even realising that the anger was taking me nowhere was Stage 1.

I have heard this saying several times in the past “Our stress is based on how to respond to the situations”. Yes it made a lot of sense, but how was I supposed to implement this in difficult situations was just beyond me.

Stage 2

It is easy to be a nice person in favourable conditions. But in unfavourable situations, we normally enter a “fight or flight” mode- this is how the sympathetic nervous system behaves. Even if we consciously tell ourselves that we will be controlled, when we are thrown in a situation which is not favourable, it is almost impossible to stay calm as we sub-consciously REACT.

Through Yoga, we start to train our parasympathetic nervous system – where we then learn to consciously RESPOND and not sub-consciously REACT.

Asanas

When we put our body through a little more stress than it can take during our asana practice, at the same time control our breath to be slow and relaxed, and perform the asanas happily with a smile, we sub-consciously train ourselves to respond the same way during life’s situations as well.

Try this yourself, when you are really irritated, consciously inhale and exhale very slowly à your anger will vanish in no time.

Similarly when frustrated, just try to smile à your brain starts to think that all is well, and you will surely not be able to get angry. It’s as simple as that!

Yogasanas trains your subconscious mind to respond to life’s tricky situations consciously.

Pranayama

The practice of inhalation and exhalation movement to regulate, control and liberate your life forces is pranayama. Pranayama calms the mind, helps us focus on the right things, and slows down your breath during practice and after thus making us more relaxed individuals. It also improves the cardio-respiratory system by pumping in greater amounts of oxygen to the heart and thus throughout the body through the blood. Recent studies have proved that when the oxygen level in the body is high, the happiness quotient is high too. You see this when you travel to destinations with less pollution, more greenery and abundant oxygen. At the same time less oxygen leads to depression. Hence by just deep and focussed breathing we get healthier and happier.

Meditation

Dhyana (meditation) is about sitting still, focusing on your eyebrow center and letting no other thought flow. Though it would be difficult to sit still initially, when you try to meditate after performing Yogasanas and Pranayama, you will notice that sitting in Dhyan posture is not only easy but also wonderful!

Having the right intention for your Yoga practice

When we practice yoga with the intention to lose weight, and think that all that matters is just the posture, it would probably help in losing a few kgs, but does not work on your mind strengthening. Yoga must be practiced with proper breath control, with complete dedication (focusing on your eye brow center) and you should hold your posture a little beyond your comfort zone. That’s when it works on both your body and your mind!

Yoga is not an exercise, it is a way to change the way you live your life!

Stage 3

I didn’t realise this initially but when I started reflecting on how I am handling different situations, I noticed that with daily practice of Yoga and meditation

• My kids still continue to be naughty, still trouble to eat their fruits and vegetables, still keep fighting for fun (which is scary for an adult), still need to be reminded to wash their hands after stepping in from outside – but the way I respond is not with frustration for being forced to be a referee but a mother who is lucky enough to do all this for just a few more years till they turn to be adults themselves.

• My work at office and my other activities is still the same, but now I somehow have way more time to do more. That surprises me and people around a lot! J I no more employ someone to cook but enjoy cooking myself, I have time to do my art work, music, yoga, runs, travels, kids studies, friends, parties and still not get tired or stressed as I don’t have much of a down time. I don’t really need a 30 minute break between 2 activities anymore. I don’t need that time to ‘relax’ anymore as I get relaxation out of everything I do.

• The people around me still continue to say or do the same things, but I don’t try to change anything as I realised that I am no one to influence anyone. Everyone lives their life the way they want it. Who am I to judge?

• I am less judgemental about things or people around me and that has helped tremendously in accepting people the way they are and having better relationships

• I realised that 10 years down the line, I may want to do the things I do today differently, so views change, choices change, life changes. Nothing is the best, nothing is perfect, it is all situation based. I now strive to do the best I can do at the moment, as that is all that I have in my control.

And yes, the change is happening, but there are those moments when you still lose it.. but for sure, I am able to let it stay behind within minutes, apologise if required and carry on. When I say carry on, it is definitely leaving the baggage behind.

Yoga has not only helped me become fitter, leaner and healthier but most importantly it has helped me tremendously in becoming a better person to my family, friends and to Myself!!!